Wow, I had no idea that people were actually reading this thing. I'll admit it.. I grinned a tad when I realized I had a couple of comments. Thank you to the both of you for taking the time to read this and for proving to me that there are some decent people left on the face of this Earth who actually care. Hopefully I'll be able to hold your attention (and support for that matter) for this whole up coming year during Tony's deployment... and if I am unsuccessful.. well, I apologize in advance.
I would not consider today to be an up-day at all. About an hour before I had to be at work my mom decided to come into my room and yell at me. Of course I broke down in tears and she continued to tell me that my family is not going to put up with me stressing them out for the next year. Are you kidding me?!?! They are stressed????!... because of me?!?!?! How in the world could she even say that to me??! Put yourself in my shoes, mom! Yeah, I know I am the one who chose this life.. but it's not like I could stop myself from falling in love with Tony... considering the fact I actually did try to stop myself at one point.. but then I realized I was already in love with him, so then I tried falling out of love with him.. and that didn't work either. So forgive me for having mood swings every now and again because the person I am head over heels in love with is miles and miles away from me right now and I miss him dearly!!! It's hard waking up everyday, knowing that my family has no clue how I'm feeling. I have no one around me who REALLY understands what it is like to be left behind. I have been left behind because Tony is going to Iraq.. defending my mom's freedom to bitch and yell at me about every little thing that she can possible think of, causing me to feel so unbelievably minute and trivial.
When my mom had finally finished having her fun by reducing me to tears and throwing her little tantrum, I grabbed my keys and headed to work... continuing to sob on the way. I must say.. that was one of the longest 12 hour shifts ever. And nothing interesting even came in, but that's okay.. because we had plenty of psychs and chest pains throughout the night to keep us busy. The joys of working in an emergency room. It's almost 5 in the A.M. and I am not even tired. I wish I was... I have to be back there in less than 12 hours for another mighty fun 8 hour shift. The only positive perspective on this is that it's a holiday, and I will be getting time and a half.. not that it makes an enormous difference in my depressing, bi-weekly paycheck.
I suppose I should try and get a few hours of sleep so that I don't end up being tired.. and useless.. when I go back into work at 3pm today. I suppose if I can't sleep I could always head to the gym for a little while. Who knows? At this point.. I'll do anything to keep myself busy. 8 days and a wake up... Almost there hubby!!!
I would not consider today to be an up-day at all. About an hour before I had to be at work my mom decided to come into my room and yell at me. Of course I broke down in tears and she continued to tell me that my family is not going to put up with me stressing them out for the next year. Are you kidding me?!?! They are stressed????!... because of me?!?!?! How in the world could she even say that to me??! Put yourself in my shoes, mom! Yeah, I know I am the one who chose this life.. but it's not like I could stop myself from falling in love with Tony... considering the fact I actually did try to stop myself at one point.. but then I realized I was already in love with him, so then I tried falling out of love with him.. and that didn't work either. So forgive me for having mood swings every now and again because the person I am head over heels in love with is miles and miles away from me right now and I miss him dearly!!! It's hard waking up everyday, knowing that my family has no clue how I'm feeling. I have no one around me who REALLY understands what it is like to be left behind. I have been left behind because Tony is going to Iraq.. defending my mom's freedom to bitch and yell at me about every little thing that she can possible think of, causing me to feel so unbelievably minute and trivial.
When my mom had finally finished having her fun by reducing me to tears and throwing her little tantrum, I grabbed my keys and headed to work... continuing to sob on the way. I must say.. that was one of the longest 12 hour shifts ever. And nothing interesting even came in, but that's okay.. because we had plenty of psychs and chest pains throughout the night to keep us busy. The joys of working in an emergency room. It's almost 5 in the A.M. and I am not even tired. I wish I was... I have to be back there in less than 12 hours for another mighty fun 8 hour shift. The only positive perspective on this is that it's a holiday, and I will be getting time and a half.. not that it makes an enormous difference in my depressing, bi-weekly paycheck.
I suppose I should try and get a few hours of sleep so that I don't end up being tired.. and useless.. when I go back into work at 3pm today. I suppose if I can't sleep I could always head to the gym for a little while. Who knows? At this point.. I'll do anything to keep myself busy. 8 days and a wake up... Almost there hubby!!!
posted by Stacie @ 4:34 AM
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