I know I shouldn't be wasting precious time blogging, at the moment, when I have plenty of studying to do for classes tonight. Or atleast for my anatomy and physiology class. I just don't feel like studying anymore even if there is a quiz tonight. Shame on me for hoping that mitosis would be interesting. As awful as it sounds, I really can't wait to start dissecting. For some reason muscles, bones, and organs are so much easier for me to memorize. I'm not so interested in cells and how or why they divide and what they do. It's just irrelavant to what I want to do. When I'm transporting someone in a helicopter their cellular activity will be the least of my worries. It kind of pains me to think that I still have to do microbiology and A&P II after this! I think I just might drop dead before I finish school. My backpack already weighs just about as much as I do. Not to mention that between working full time and going to school twice a week, I only get 4 days off a month. And when I think about it, most of those days off will be spent studying or doing errands that my sweet husband never got around to since he works full time as well. He has also been toying with the idea of going back to school. I figured he would go back and get all his degrees in mechanics and become Honda/Acura certified since that's what a majority of the population around here drives anyways. However, he just informed me the other day that he does not want to go to school for that. He wants a degree in criminal justice. I was somewhat surprised. Not so much due to his military experience, but for as long as I have known him, he has always been interested in cars and fixing them. Infact, he was even a mechanic in the army. Either way, he needs to give himself more credit. I have a funny feeling that the reason he hasn't gone back to school, is the same reason that I kept putting it off as well. I think that he doubts himself. He believes in me so much and I wish that he would just focus even a little bit of that faith back on himself. I am so thankful to have a husband who supports me so much and knows that I can succeed at anything as long as I give it my best shot. But it breaks my heart that he doesn't feel that way about himself. I guess that's why he has me in his life though. So that I can support him, believe in him, and encourage him to accomplish anything his heart desires.

I'm rather anxious right now. In about two hours I go to school. After Tony came home from Iraq, I had decided to take what I thought was going to be a brief hiatus from school. Well, that was back in September of 2007. We are now into 2010. If I keep this up I'll never graduate! I am fortunate enough to be in a new year, which means new goals and new ambitions. I have finally convinced myself that I am ready for this. I am ready to go back to school, and stay in school this time. I want to become an RN. My passion is to ride on the chopper doing Med Flight. I'm an adrenaline junky. And I'll be perfect for it! Under five feet tall and less than 100 pounds. I just have to get five years experience under my belt as an ER or critical care RN. I'm totally ready for this! Bring it on! I know that as the wife of a two time Operation Iraqi Freedom Veteran... Failure is NOT an option!

So the begining to a new year has still been a struggle. Even though we are only 5 days into a new decade, I see many battles ahead of Tony and I. The VA has always been a nightmare for us. Well, for him more than it has been for me. When he needs to be seen for medical reasons he likes to bring me along. They have a nasty habit of telling him, AFTER he gets there, that he never had an appointment to begin with. Or they will schedule him for appointments on their own and never telling him about them, and then they will call him, complaining that he hasn't shown up! So he knows when I go along with him, I will put my foot down and be the spawn of satan if I have to!
Lately, it's a different story. They have taken away his disability! It started in December, and he called the VA to find out what was going on. Tony had taken a couple of online college courses back in 2006 before he deployed. The VA was telling us that they took his disability away because he owed them $3,000 due to them over paying his tuition. The real story is, Tony got a bill from the school for $35. The VA had under paid his tuition. So he paid the $35 out of his own pocket, knowing that it wasn't going to break his bank. But the VA was adament that they over paid it. So Tony had to get in touch with the school which is based out of Texas or somewhere near there, and he had to argue with the two places to get them to talk it out themselves instead of making him a middle man. The school put the VA in their place saying that they never over paid the tuition. So about a month ago Tony called the VA once again to find out why hasn't gotten his disability back. The lady on the other end of the phone told him that there were no debts on his record and that he should've been paid. But he still hadn't been. The woman told him that he would have to wait for a packet of paper work to be delivered to him in the mail. He has to fill out that packet and bring it to the VA in person. Well, that's fine and dandy. He'll do it. The only problem now is.. the packet has yet to show up in our mailbox! And the crazy part about this whole situation is.. even if you DO have a debt with the VA, they are only allowed to take 20% of your disability checks until it's paid off. So why is he not getting any of his money?! I'm so sick of arguing with that place! Lately I've been wondering if it's even worth it to keep fighting with them. Maybe we should just let them have the money if it means so much to them. But then I think of my husband. He earned that monthly check! That's HIS money! He is in so much pain everyday and the nightmares he has of that horrible country! We can't just give up and let them win! We need to keep at it and let them know that what they are doing is wrong! If I could deal with this situation for him I would, but they want him at the VA in person, and they barely give him any information over the phone. I doubt they'll listen to me. I suppose it's time that I start using my resources. They don't realize it, but they are messing with the wrong army wife!