It's raining. As if we didn't get enough rain this summer! I'm over it! Although I really shouldn't be complaining. I guess rain is better than snow. I am dreading the cold weather, which happens to be fast approaching. This rainy day blog post does bring a bit of good news, though. Keith is alive. However, he is having a difficult time coping with the events that took place that weekend. Nine deaths on his base that was ambushed, but thankfully he wasn't one of them. On the flip side, Johnny Barton is still dead. And I am still in denial. On Friday, after driving an hour and a half to Plymouth NH, to attend Johnny's wake, I got there only to find out he has been cremated. I stood there staring at a picture of Johnny which was placed beside his urn. I couldn't understand how someone so genuine and with so much talent and spirit, could just be cremated. I lack the knowledge as to whether or not it was his wish to be cremated, but it still upsets me. How am I supposed to come to terms with his abscence?? I do not enjoy seeing dead people. Lord knows I see enough of them at work. It just doesn't feel real without being able to see. I doubt that makes any sense at all. Or maybe I'm just making up excuses instead of letting go. You would think that for someone who has been to far too many funerals for someone her age, that I'd be able to deal with this. Just because the number has gotten bigger, it doesn't mean that it gets any easier. I'm just numb. I'm tired of feeling sad. My husband is home from Iraq.. I thought life was supposed to be perfect now? But deep down I know the, unfortunate, truth. Life goes on. Just like it did when Tony was deployed. There's no way to speed it up, rewind it, or even freeze it. It just continues, allowing people into your life. And then taking them away just as fast, if not faster, as they entered your heart.