My little brother (who isn't so little, anymore, considering the fact that he weighs more than me and is taller than me now.. so I guess I'll just say my "younger" brother) finally graduated high school last night. Luckily I was able to attend and didn't have to work second shift. My brother asked me earlier this week if I was going to be at his graduation and when I told him that I'd be there, he seemed somewhat excited for a moment or two.
The graduation began with the JROTC presenting the nation's colors and the school chorus sang the National Anthem. I stood there proudly with my hand over my heart and my husband's face embedded in my mind. Half way through the National Anthem I began to look around me at everyone else. I noticed a rather large number of people who obviously felt that because they are a blood redded American, they did not have to place their hand over their heart or take a moment of silence... continuing to chit chat amongst themselves. I found this be disrespectful. However, I found it to be even more disrespectful that people couldn't take two seconds to remove their hats for the National Anthem. Maybe the reason I find this to be so irritating is because I am a soldier's wife. Our country's colors mean so much more to me now. Everytime I see our flag I am completely overcome with pride knowing how lucky I am to be married to an American Hero. Someone who is willing to put his life on the line to make sure that I am safe and can sleep peacefully at night.
All went well during the graduation, the end of it was a different story. My family and I decided to go out to dinner to celebrate. I had taken my own car, so I ended up running ahead of my parents and my brother because I was really cold. As I made my way to the parking lot I saw an ambulance from SFD. Working in the ER, I know pretty much all the EMTs from SFD. I figured that someone slipped and busted their ankle.. I figured it wasn't anything serious, but I was wrong. I began walking by the ambulance to say hi to the guys and that's when I noticed how serious the situation was. There was an older man lying on the ground with his shirt off. The EMTs were really hustling to get the patient hooked up to their 12 lead EKG machine. They finally got him on a back board, onto the stretcher and wheeled him over to the ambulance. The patient's color wasn't looking all that great and the guys were bagging him with an AMBU (pretty much a replacement for mouth to mouth). I made my way over to my car and began making my way out of the high school. As I was sitting at a red light, a paramedic truck was making its way towards the high school. That's when I knew the guy was in rough shape. For those who don't know, paramedics are the ones who intubate people, not the EMTs. After my family and I finished eating I called the ER to see how the guy was (SFD always brings their patients to my hospital). The secretary told me that the guy did come in from the ambulance in cardiac arrest and they did what they could, however, they were unable to save him. My heart sank, and I had a small flash back to when I was standing in the parking lot watching the EMTs work on the gentleman. I remembered seeing a girl, wearing a cap and gown, standing there freaking out and asking where they were going to take him. This man must have gone there to watch his grand daughter graduate. My heart goes out to that girl, as I am sure she is some what blaming herself. I'm sure she was thinking if she didn't graduate on that specific day maybe it wouldn't have happened. Or if she didn't invite him to go and watch her graduate, maybe then it wouldn't have happened. Or maybe if he was home, the ambulance would've gotten to him sooner because they wouldn't have had to fight through traffic.
We have all been there before. We lose someone that we love and we tend to blame ourselves or someone else. We all sit there and contemplate what we could've done to prevent the situation from happening. To be honest, I feel guilty about the situation. When someone falls and bumps their head or breaks their ankle, everyone seems to rush over and try to help. When someone is not breathing, people seem to freak out and step back because they aren't sure what to do. I feel that if I had been walking through the parking lot when it first happened, before the ambulance got there, I would've been able to do something sooner. I know I shouldn't blame myself, but it's something I have struggled with for a long time and I can't help it. I suppose all I can do at this point is just pray that the family (of the man who passed away) can find the strength to get through this difficult time that life has thrown at them. My condolences.
Switching the subject to something not so depressing.. I am missing a lot of action up north at Tony's parents' place. His father sent me an IM the other morning (which I wasn't able to respond to because I was still sleeping). They had a bear attempt to get into their porch, and ended up ripping the screen out of a window during the whole process. And they also had a moose wander through their yard. It's pretty common there since they live in the north country. Tony's father wants me to go up there visit in the worst way, but with work and school it's just not possible lately. In fact, last week I only worked 40 hours. I thought I was going to have a panic attack! I began frantically flipping through the daily staffing sheets trying to find holes that needed to be filled in. I am so used to putting in over 50 hours every week lately! Right now, 40 hours is just unacceptable for me! What the heck am I supposed to do with my free time!?!?
The graduation began with the JROTC presenting the nation's colors and the school chorus sang the National Anthem. I stood there proudly with my hand over my heart and my husband's face embedded in my mind. Half way through the National Anthem I began to look around me at everyone else. I noticed a rather large number of people who obviously felt that because they are a blood redded American, they did not have to place their hand over their heart or take a moment of silence... continuing to chit chat amongst themselves. I found this be disrespectful. However, I found it to be even more disrespectful that people couldn't take two seconds to remove their hats for the National Anthem. Maybe the reason I find this to be so irritating is because I am a soldier's wife. Our country's colors mean so much more to me now. Everytime I see our flag I am completely overcome with pride knowing how lucky I am to be married to an American Hero. Someone who is willing to put his life on the line to make sure that I am safe and can sleep peacefully at night.
All went well during the graduation, the end of it was a different story. My family and I decided to go out to dinner to celebrate. I had taken my own car, so I ended up running ahead of my parents and my brother because I was really cold. As I made my way to the parking lot I saw an ambulance from SFD. Working in the ER, I know pretty much all the EMTs from SFD. I figured that someone slipped and busted their ankle.. I figured it wasn't anything serious, but I was wrong. I began walking by the ambulance to say hi to the guys and that's when I noticed how serious the situation was. There was an older man lying on the ground with his shirt off. The EMTs were really hustling to get the patient hooked up to their 12 lead EKG machine. They finally got him on a back board, onto the stretcher and wheeled him over to the ambulance. The patient's color wasn't looking all that great and the guys were bagging him with an AMBU (pretty much a replacement for mouth to mouth). I made my way over to my car and began making my way out of the high school. As I was sitting at a red light, a paramedic truck was making its way towards the high school. That's when I knew the guy was in rough shape. For those who don't know, paramedics are the ones who intubate people, not the EMTs. After my family and I finished eating I called the ER to see how the guy was (SFD always brings their patients to my hospital). The secretary told me that the guy did come in from the ambulance in cardiac arrest and they did what they could, however, they were unable to save him. My heart sank, and I had a small flash back to when I was standing in the parking lot watching the EMTs work on the gentleman. I remembered seeing a girl, wearing a cap and gown, standing there freaking out and asking where they were going to take him. This man must have gone there to watch his grand daughter graduate. My heart goes out to that girl, as I am sure she is some what blaming herself. I'm sure she was thinking if she didn't graduate on that specific day maybe it wouldn't have happened. Or if she didn't invite him to go and watch her graduate, maybe then it wouldn't have happened. Or maybe if he was home, the ambulance would've gotten to him sooner because they wouldn't have had to fight through traffic.
We have all been there before. We lose someone that we love and we tend to blame ourselves or someone else. We all sit there and contemplate what we could've done to prevent the situation from happening. To be honest, I feel guilty about the situation. When someone falls and bumps their head or breaks their ankle, everyone seems to rush over and try to help. When someone is not breathing, people seem to freak out and step back because they aren't sure what to do. I feel that if I had been walking through the parking lot when it first happened, before the ambulance got there, I would've been able to do something sooner. I know I shouldn't blame myself, but it's something I have struggled with for a long time and I can't help it. I suppose all I can do at this point is just pray that the family (of the man who passed away) can find the strength to get through this difficult time that life has thrown at them. My condolences.
Switching the subject to something not so depressing.. I am missing a lot of action up north at Tony's parents' place. His father sent me an IM the other morning (which I wasn't able to respond to because I was still sleeping). They had a bear attempt to get into their porch, and ended up ripping the screen out of a window during the whole process. And they also had a moose wander through their yard. It's pretty common there since they live in the north country. Tony's father wants me to go up there visit in the worst way, but with work and school it's just not possible lately. In fact, last week I only worked 40 hours. I thought I was going to have a panic attack! I began frantically flipping through the daily staffing sheets trying to find holes that needed to be filled in. I am so used to putting in over 50 hours every week lately! Right now, 40 hours is just unacceptable for me! What the heck am I supposed to do with my free time!?!?
posted by Stacie @ 9:00 AM
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